when we were little my older sister brookie and i used to put on my mom and dads clothes and pretend to be them and argue over bills and dinner and i would pretend to read the wall street journal and go to work with a briefcase and do other fatherly things. brookie always made me be the dad, one of the wonderful perks of being the younger sister. my mom and dad would watch us and laugh and smile knowingly, because they knew something that i did not: that one day i would in fact be a grown up (though not a dad), something my six-year-old brain could not comprehend and my twenty-four-year-old one is still working through. sometimes i can feel that day creeping up on me bit by bit, even though when im mailing off important grownup mail or using a credit card i still feel like that little girl in her daddys pants, just pretending to be a grownup for a short little while until my next door neighbor comes over and we can go rollerblading.
when i was that little girl (a chubby, chubby little girl with unkempt hair that went swimming in XXL tees over her bathing suit) i not only liked to play dad, i also used to make lists--lists of my favorite books, lists of boys that smelled like B.O. (Jeffrey Fisher, are you out there?), lists of the characters I thought were dreamy (Gilbert from Ann of Green Gables anyone?), lists of the five women I wanted to look like when I grew up (Jane Fonda topped the list, I kid you not, my mom owned all of her step videos), lists of the countries I wanted to see and the professions i would one day achieve (a ballerina-writer-iceskater-fireman-spy-princess, obviously). Those lists are lost somewhere in the attic of the house i grew up in, or maybe somewhere out in the universe never to be found, but today when I was feeling like a little girl in her daddy's pants as I talked to someone on the phone about the state of the economy, I started making another list in my head--a list of the things I want when I'm a grown up. And since lists are not as fun unless they are written and recorded for the sake of public record, here it is blogging universe, a list from the slightly more grown up version of the chubby little girl who always had to play the boy character:
Things I want when I grow up (drum roll please)
1. to live on a street called zeitgest. i'm not sure why. Mostly because I really really like that word, and I think it is probably the best street name I can imagine. 22 zeitgest. does that address exist anywhere in the world? google map it for me because im moving in.
2. have a pack of wild children. Like maybe 4 to 7. I hope they are barefoot most of the time and enjoy wearing wild outfits that don't match and often do things like try to fly or catch lizards or eat sand. also when i picture them in my minds eye i picture them with some sort of tail sweatpants..are those available?
3. dance on every continent, preferably with nick and my pack of wild children. preferably with the locals of the continent. preferably in some sort of tribal costume. matching tribal costumes. im envisioning the part in peter pan when they are captured by the indians and dance around the fire.
4. meet Ponyboy Curtis. or at least SE Hinton. Is she alive? or maybe just someone with the name ponyboy curtis. or name my child ponyboy, although nick has already threatened to leave me if i pull through on that one.
5. write a really really amazing book. I don't care what its about, as long as it involves dancing, candy, happiness and makes at least one to two people cry. also, i would like it not to include any capital letters because we all know how i feel about those.
6. beome president of the United States. or at least president of something. maybe the pta, maybe a small municipality, maybe the burger king kids club. but whatever it is, i would like to be known as king shannon. i know that i am a president and not a king, but i like the idea of being called a king.
7. discover buried treasure. i know this sounds farfetched, but i actually have a lead and i actually may accomplish this. so when im laughing all the way to the buried treasure trunk, youll feel silly you doubted me.
8. convince nick to go skydiving with me, preferably in some sort of matching unitard on some sort of momentous occasion. hes not into it. can you email him and let him know this is a good idea?
9. become the reason for a national holiday.
10. own a windmill. i love windmills a whole lot, a topic for another blogpost, but id like one in my back yard if possible, as well as a weeping willow tree, a tree house, and an enormous pool of jello.
11. live in a treehouse. this has been a life dream.
12. learn how to speak a very obscure language and then visit a place where they speak that obscure language and casually start conversing with a native, surprising them all with my incredible intellectual abilities and perfect accent.
13. become an astronaut.
14. break the world record for speed reading. this one i really think may be within my reach.
15. become a court reporter. partly for the outfits, and partly because its like a really cool important version of a secretary and they get to type things like "lawyer sneezes".
16. see the loch ness monster, and maybe get interviewed by large news agencies about it. act like its no big deal.
these lists may continue if my neighbor doesnt come over to go rollerblading. i will keep you tuned. now its my turn to ask: what is on your list of things to do as a grownup? please tell me, especially if it involves swordfighting or graffiti.