Tuesday, March 25, 2008

diesta like you mean it.

as prime minister of the world, i make the laws. and i think my new law is that everyone in the world, at precisely 4:36 PM MST, has to quit whatever they are doing and dance their pants off for 22 minutes. I think this may be the solution to world hunger, poverty, depression, obesity, heartache and all other issues plaguing the universe. maybe not the cure all, but definitely a way to alleviate some of these travesties and bring some more joy into the planet. dancing is good for the soul. good for the body. good for the mind. good for the heart. and if everyone, every day, HAD to dance, dance like no one was watching, dance like they had ants in their pants, dance like their life depended on it, i think the world would be a little brighter and hearts would be a a little happier and a little less genocide would take place. not siesta. the world sleeps enough. its obviously not helping. the answer is diesta. diesta is the solution. diesta for 22 minutes, and then return to normal life. i will have to ask the dj of the world to make a dope playlist for the event, which will be piped in through a worldwide speaker system that i am working on installing. just imagine it with me. at 4:36 PM MST, back that thang up comes on from africa to jamaica to alaska to georgia, and everyone must stop, drop and back their thang up to the heavy beats of juvenile. families will be reunited. wars will end. love will be found. feuds will be forgotten. and we will all engage in some good old fashioned booty popping. one worldwide dance partay, and everyone is invited. no bouncer at this door. bring your shimmying arms and your belly rolls. its going to revolutionize the world folks. diesta or die.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

im mad.

im mad at the usa. i need to be out of the country. this is the longest ive been in the country for years. i think my soul is breaking.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

tomatoes like apples.

today i sat outside the library in my stunna shades and read a book and felt happy about the birthday of life and love and wings and the sun. while i was sitting there, a couple next to me talked, and i listened. i felt invisible. i wasnt invisible, but almost.

she brought him tomatoes. she was nervous to bring him the tomatoes, i could tell from her voice. he had said they were his favorite a while back, and she remembered. he laughed because she gave them to him and he said no knife to slice them? and she kept saying, i thought you eat them like an apple. then he would say thank you. i could tell from his voice he wanted to say thank you for real, it means a lot, but he couldnt say it. it was stuck inside. she kept apologizing for not bringing a knife. he ate the tomatoes. all of them. you could tell they were a little bit in love. probaby not even dating, but a little bit in love.

he kept asking her if she liked tomatoes. she said yes, but not just plain like he was eating them. she would laugh nervously. he would repeat the question. they talked about tomatoes for one half hour. i listened to the whole conversation without ever seeing what they looked like, busy being invisible. i didnt really want to see them, just listen. i liked listening to the ebb and flow of their voices, the anxious undertones, her nervousness at presenting him with this gift, at revealing that she cared, his pleasure to receive it. all unspoken, and so, so beautiful.

it was a perfect dialogue for a perfect afternoon. tomatoes eaten like apples, giving and receiving, laughing and loving, and me invisible beside it all.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

ever wonder where gummy worms come from?


have you ever tried the gummy eggs (trolli sour brite eggs to be exact) that are supposed to be what gummy worms come out of? all i have to say about this little treat is they make you sweat. i dont know why, i dont know what, but we ate some today in the cougareat and being the enormous appreciator of candy i am, i thought i would love them. which i did, but they make you sweat. go to your local walmart, cruise the kid candy aisle, and experience the birthplace of gummy worms, these strange little tie-dye egg creations, and tell me what you think, because i'm still figuring out what to think about it all. also wear a muscle tee and put on a good swipe of deoderant, because they are going to make you sweat.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

criss cross apple sauce.

one time i was in the british museum in london this summer and i saw this couple, sitting criss cross apple sauce facing each other, knees touching, a little pow wow of we-ness, a little cross cross apple sauce shelter from the world around them. here they were, surrounded by tourists with cameras and maps and bustling to see the magna carta, and they were indian stylin it up on the white marble floor. at the time i was in a fight with my then boyfriend, and i felt like maybe all of our problems could be solved if we just sat down criss cross apple sauce on the floor across from each other, that somehow everything could be okay if we just got in that most intimate of positions and talked it out. i just wanted to run to his side and yell "criss cross apple sauce, tell your teacher to get lost" and plop down to sit on my back pockets and face him straight on, back to the position that brought me so much comfort at the age of 6. everything feels better when you're sitting indian style.

since the time i saw that couple 6 months, i think about them all the time. who doesn't want to sit cross cross apple sauce with the person they love, knees rubbing, bodies facing each other, hearts connected, oblivious to the rush of people around them? why have i never participated in creating an indian style refuge from the big bad world? here was this young couple in love, in one of the most famous and elegant cities in the world, in a museum with the most posh ancient artifacts of all time, sitting criss cross apple sauce on the floor like two kindergartners on time out. maybe they had gotten in a big fight on the tube, and needed to regroup. maybe they had been backpacking europe for months, and just needed a little R and R. maybe they just wanted to look at each other, touch knees, touch hearts, realizing that the leaning tower of pisa is beautiful but nothing compared to the face of the person that loves you back. who knows the why. i dont need the why. all i know is the world looks a little softer when you're looking at the person you love from the lap of mother earth, feet tucked under your calves, criss cross apple sauce.

Monday, March 3, 2008

check plus.

i love to check things. checking, in fact, may be my one of my favorite actions. just the word itself is a beauty--check check check check. not only is it fun to say, you can repeat it multiple times and the integrity of the word does not diminish into a hobble gobble of empty syllables. i like to refer to my pre-homework warm up as "checking my stuff." before i can begin my homework, i must check my email, my blog, my facebook account, my other email account, and my byu account. if i move locations, the checking process begins anew. i have become quite profficient at checking--i can log in and out of facebook in 34 seconds flat. i can check my email like nobody's business. there is no specific order to my checking, but i cannot start my homework until all things i have been checked. i just love to check. and I love Al Gore for inventing the internet, which has provided me something to check so regularly.

today on our walk home from the lrc, at which time i had already checked my email accounts, facebook, etc. multiple times, megan and i took a quick stop in the jsb to get warmed up. at this time, the kiosks looked like an ideal place to do some quick checking. so megan and i logged on, checked our stuff, and then slunk our way home. Needless to say, nothing we check had changed on the 5 minute walk between the lrc and the jsb. but it brought me comfort to know i had checked. i could continue my walk home knowing that i was updated on all events that concerned me on the internet, that all e-communications had been checked and accounted for. i then promptly checked my stuff as soon as i got home and got on my computer, and i have been checking it continuously throughout the night.

i dont know why checking is so fun. rarely has anything changed. rarely is there a new email in my inbox, a new post on my facebook wall, a new grade on my byu account. but on the rare occasion there is something new to check, im glad that i check it immediately, instead of leaving it there to stew without anyone to check on it and see that it is alive and existing on the world-wide-web. nope, not my emails. they are always checked.

i guess the moral of the story is, if you write me emails, i will check them. if you post on my facebook wall, i will check it. nothing goes unchecked in my world. im thinkin about creating more email addresses, websites, blogs, etc. so i have even more things to check. its like when you lose something and you leave a couple of places unchecked, so you still have that little ray of hope in your soul that the lost item is lurking in the one unchecked area. the more places i create to check, the more possibilities there are something new will appear and i will have something to be checking for. now i better go check my stuff before i start studying. it hasnt been checked in more than 8 minutes.