i love surprise people.

its 10 32 am and im semi asleep on megan allens couch while she gently slumbers next to me and we have matching christmas pajama sets on and i am contemplating in my head what it is that all of my friends have in common (side note: she just lifted her head and mumbled something unintelligible that sounded like grumblegrumblewhyareyouawakegrumblegrumble and then promptly went back to a gentle slumber). if you know me, this is a much more difficult question than you may think at first glance. one time father mehner attempted to have a surprise birthday for me at the ripe age of 16 and invite my friends, and it was a disaster to the 8476th degree. lets just say the array of people present included players of pokemon, the comedy sportz team, several pleather sporting cheerleaders, mormons, atheists, pre-teens and sweet bros. the segregation was heavy, and martin luther king jr would have been disappointed. in terms of my very successful dating career, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to the characters i date, ranging from the most typical member of society to convicted felons with serious personality disorders. when didi and i go down the dating line up, it results in mass amounts of giggling and didi asking this question--"who the h are you ever going to marry!?". evidently, i have absolutely no "type". the question that remains is complex: what is it that causes me to create deep friendships with all of these diverse types? and why is funfetti cake so delicious at 10:48 am? (fourth slice in the last 32 hours, but i grooved and did some deep knee bends to stronger by kanye so i deserve it.)

i think part of it is that i have 74 personalities, so each one matches up with a different person. being the schizophrenic i am, i can easily morph into whoever i am with and discuss (or at least fake discuss) whatever topic it is that interests them (music, literary theory, skateboarding, cheez-its.) beyond my multi-pronged identity issues, i have realized what it is that i gravitate toward in all of these peoples is one beautiful enduring theme: they are surprises. wonderful, fantastic, expectation defying, surprise grab bags of human beings. when i am in a judgemental and generalizing mood, i like to separate provoian society into four categories: bros/hoes, indie rock, normal, and intellectuals. what i like about my friends is that though they may look like they fit into one of these categories, they are a surprise on the inside, like the time kevin yackle and i decided it would be funny to dip tomatoes in chocolate and pretend like they were chocolate covered strawberries. now that was a surprise. take for example, megan, who is now cleaning the kitchen in booty shorts. she loves juicy coutour, cheetah is a daily part of her wardrobe, and she completely defies all stereotypes of a normal bro/hoe because she cares deeply about the world, has the wittiest sense of humour known to man, and loves men with clear braces. she defies every expectation you would have for a platinum haired, perfectly tanned, jewel wearing woman. she is a Surprise with a capital S, and a Surprise that keeps on giving.

i am a big proponent of change in all of its various forms. i dye my hair approximately once a month because i get bored. i like it when people assume i am dumb and then i kick their a on tests. i try to get out of the country at least every six months. i LOVE when unexpected things happen, especially crisis situations. in light of all these fun facts, it is absolutely no surprise that i LOVE surprise people, and surround myself with them. In appearance, stature, intelligence level, culture, humour, hygiene habits, basically every way you can imagine, the people i am friends with have nothing in common. but they are all grab bags of goodies, gifts that keep on giving, surprise souls with nuggets of joy that are unexpected and oh so delightful. they are tricks of the best kind, constantly surprising me with interesting new talents, making me laugh because who would ever guess that my completely conservative looking and seemingly shy roommate katherine doesn't believe in gender, knows more about English than a lot of your professors, and loves to shimmy to mariah carey all i want for christmas is you. one day, when i acquire time and skillz and motivation to do this, i am going to take all of my surprise friends and put them in one room for 24 hours and let them all love each other. im sure it wouldnt happen in the first 16 hours, but i think as the lights got low and time kept tickin they would find that surprise people love other surprise people, and not to be fooled by the cheetah print, or by the extensive vocabulary, or by the sk8r boy persona. in the meantime, i challenge you all to suspend judgement for one day and go out and find a surprise person, and be surprised. you'll get addicted.